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A polite no?

So as I’m here looking for an IE lots of people spring up that I’m not physically attracted too, how do you let that person down without sounding horrible and blunt?
I’m a nice person and I find telling people you’re not my type really offensive so I end up ghosting them which is also bad but how else can I say it?

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Comments (220)

Paula99 - 19 Dec, 2023 - 06:30PM

It seems Quasimodo has a regular post in here ..I wonder where that came from 😂😂😂

 2 members like this comment.


ExoticOrchid - 19 Dec, 2023 - 05:03PM

There really is no need to be so blunt and say "you're not attractive" ... I would never say that to anyone, not even to Quasimodo!

 4 members like this comment.


1639599 - 19 Dec, 2023 - 02:08PM

@Eliza Boo
I really like your comment and agree to ghost is unpleasant


1447655 - 19 Dec, 2023 - 01:16PM

There's cowardly ways - ghosting, and mean ways "you aren't attractive" and there's decent ways "I just don't get the feeling I'm looking for from your pictures" and I think that's honest and fair.

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Sandypops - 19 Dec, 2023 - 01:02PM

For me there has to be 'something' I find attractive. That could be anything tbf. But a smile is a great place to start.
Great chat, a sense of humour and banter can make me more attracted to someone. But sadly, if there no attraction there whatsoever, a polite ' you look lovely but not what I'm looking for' is my usual go to.
It's expensive to be here for you men so there's no point me wasting your time - I'm guessing none of us want just a pen friend.

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1632896 - 19 Dec, 2023 - 12:59PM

I know a good looking fella when I see one, the bwa greying type, close shaved etc💪😛😎…and some of us aren’t as blessed, so you should have gotten use to that fact after 40/50 years of seeing the same face in the mirror everyday.😆 I’m up front about it so you can get your deep breaths and neck rolls in beforehand😛..but there’s usually other qualities to balance it out….unless you really are unlucky)!! In which case….

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1575033 - 19 Dec, 2023 - 12:22PM

Just say thanks but no thanks not my type, simples


marklondonengland - 19 Dec, 2023 - 11:45AM

Perhaps it is too blunt to just directly say 'I don't think you are very attractive', but it's easy to let someone down just by saying 'You have a great profile and sound interesting, but I just don't think you are exactly what I'm looking for - good luck out there!' I don't think it is a big deal really - everyone should expect that they will need to invest some time to find someone who is both attractive and interesting...

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1639107 - 19 Dec, 2023 - 10:52AM

new to this,and new to this site...id rather have a polite no,then at least i no either way,and that the other profile is not a fake one..!!! also if you dont read the profile in depth then why even bother trying to make contact...

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1639646 - 19 Dec, 2023 - 10:48AM

I'm new to this site but have been around others for a while.

I don't think there is an easy and simple answer to the original question. It very much depends on the person asking.

Women get bombarded by desperate males on these sites from th beacons they set up an account. This inevitably leads to them becoming jaded, overwhelmed and naturally sceptical of any contact.

Who can blame them when the men are virtual sex pests and many won't take no for an answer?

Men need to be respectful and polite. We need to understand that the women on these sites are not sex starved people craving our attention. Quite the opposite.

When I've felt the need to decline a woman's offer or request I've found an honest and simple, "sorry you're not my type/age/etc " works fine and causes no offence.

 4 members like this comment.

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