Comments (23)

EmnEm123 - 26 Feb, 2025 - 04:18PM

Man Alive

I wouldn't bother with a second message under those circumstances either. If they can't even give your profile a cursory glance, what's the point.

Of course, you'll get those questioning what type of messages you're sending. I think it doesn't have to be an essay, a polite hello to open a conversation is fine for me, if I like the profile I'll message back, if not I usually send a polite no thanks.

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Man_Alive_2025 - 26 Feb, 2025 - 03:19PM

Eminem 123 yes, that’s what I said. If they look at me I never send a second message

But when you message and they don’t look at your profile what are the thoughts on sending a follow up? I never do send a second message if I don’t get a response to my first…

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EmnEm123 - 26 Feb, 2025 - 02:52PM

Man Alive

If you've messaged and the recipient has viewed your profile without messaging back, they're not interested.

There is no point in sending a second message, move on.

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Man_Alive_2025 - 26 Feb, 2025 - 02:41PM

I always assume if I’ve messaged someone and they’ve looked at my profile but not responded then they’re not interested. I haven’t quite yet worked out what I should do if I message and they’ve looked don’t look at me without sounded needy. What’s good way of starting that difficult second message?

Bikerdude69 - 25 Feb, 2025 - 04:24PM

Depends on where they are from, I live in Manchester and have loads of messages from ladies in London, is it just me or does anyone read profiles

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HotMess2025 - 25 Feb, 2025 - 03:34PM

If its meant to be, you will msg at the same cadence and energy, as there will be mutual interest.

If you message and don't get a reply, ping another after a few days, no response then move on. You need to value yourself at the end of the day and chasing someone that isnt interested is just incel material not a grand pursuit

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blackindulgence - 25 Feb, 2025 - 02:24PM

Hello all. First time on this Forum. Whats happening? or should I read through the history to get up to speed?

tmn2024 - 25 Feb, 2025 - 01:32PM

@Paula99 I'm actually not sure what point you were trying to make, but I didn't see anyone other than yourself use the term "entitled princesses". I am a very mannerly person and your attempt to make some kind of claim that I am not will never make me unmannerly.

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SirrahNek - 25 Feb, 2025 - 01:23PM

I think that our cultural norms are the problem - a woman can be unfairly judged if she's seen to be doing the chasing. And yes, I think that one or at most two introductory messages from an interested suitor is probably the limit - any more would be creepy. So make it count! Be interested in her specifically - a generic message which has no relevance to her or her profile (and I'm not saying that that's what you're doing!) feels like a wasted opportunity.
In the Netherlands, on the other hand, they don't share our anglican and old fashioned prudishness about women chasing men - perhaps we brits need to grow up and channel the attitudes of our dutch cousins. They're cyclists too - clearly a more advanced civilisation!

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Kitty19 - 25 Feb, 2025 - 01:19PM

For me it takes me a while to sift through the messages and so you may not get a response straightaway. For me, if you sent a second message then it would make you stand out as someone who knows what they want and is willing to put the effort in. Same with regular messaging once chat underway.