Spice up your Life
A members-only home for UK open relationships, polyamory, and the lifestyle community. Built around honesty, privacy, and people who already know what they want.
Free to register, free to browse. Single, partnered, or curious — everyone's welcome here.
Already a member? Log in here
We never store your personal details
Verified UK members who get it — not random users with the wrong expectations.
Anonymous browsing, encrypted messaging, no social-graph linking. Your profile won't appear in Google.
Couples can join together. Solo poly, V-relationships and lifestyle pairs all welcome — no awkward fit.
22 years moderating UK adult dating. Manually approved profiles, no bots, no scams.
Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is the umbrella term for any relationship structure where everyone involved has agreed that romantic or sexual connections outside the relationship are okay. The "ethical" bit is the important part: it's consensual, communicated, and respected on all sides. It's not cheating, and it's not a free-for-all.
ENM covers a lot of ground. Open relationships, polyamory, swinging, the lifestyle, monogamish, V-relationships, hierarchical and non-hierarchical poly, solo poly, "we're figuring it out together". All of it counts. All of it's welcome on IE.
What we're not is a swipe app pretending to understand ENM. We're a members-only platform with 22 years of running discreet adult dating in the UK, and we've built specifically around the things ENM members tell us they care about: honesty in profiles, privacy controls that actually work, and a community of grown-ups who get what your setup is without needing it explained twice.
A few thousand people log in every day. The shape of their relationships varies — the thing they share is being clear and honest about it.
Open relationships
Committed to a primary partner, free to connect with others, agreed boundaries.
Polyamorous
Multiple committed romantic or emotional relationships, all parties informed.
Lifestyle / swinger
Couples meeting couples (and singles). Parties, socials, ongoing connections.
Solo poly
No primary partner, multiple connections, autonomy first.
Monogamish
Mostly monogamous, with specific situations agreed in advance.
Curious / exploring
Considering ENM, talking to a partner, or new to the lifestyle and learning.
Five things the platform does so the boring infrastructure stays out of your way and you can focus on people.
Join as a couple with one shared profile, or run linked-but-separate profiles — whichever suits how you operate. Singles can clearly say they're seeking couples (or vice versa).
Set out your setup clearly — relationship structure, what you and your partner have agreed, what you're open to. Our Profile Generator helps you write it without it sounding clinical.
Upload public photos for the world, or private password-protected photos for the people you've chosen to share with. You decide who sees your face and when.
Every new profile is reviewed by a UK moderator. Fake profiles and tourists get removed before they can waste your time.
Your profile isn't indexed by Google. There's no social-graph linking. Your bank statement shows a discreet billing descriptor. The platform is members-only and stays that way.
Real members, first names only. No staged photos.
“Finally, a place where you can talk about what you really want without being judged. It's been liberating to meet like-minded people.”
“Being part of a community that understands ethical non-monogamy has been such a game-changer — I've built genuine connections here on IE.”
“I joined looking for clarity about what I wanted. What I found was freedom, understanding, and people who get that love doesn't always fit one mould.”
“I love that this space encourages honesty and exploration — it's refreshing to connect with others who value openness as much as I do.”
“With IE I am free to be honest and it is understood and accepted.”
“I can't believe how lucky I've been. I have found exactly what I was looking for and more. Thank you.”
Register in a minute. No card details, no real name required. Browse the community, see what's actually here, and decide whether IE is the right home for what you and your partner(s) are looking for.
Join Free →Illicit Encounters was founded in 2004 as a discreet dating platform for adults in long-term relationships. Over 22 years the community has grown well beyond that — including a substantial number of members in open relationships, polyamorous setups and the UK lifestyle community. The privacy infrastructure, member moderation and tone-of-voice all transfer naturally to ENM. We're not the only kind of dating IE serves, but we are one of the largest UK platforms where ENM members can be open about their setup without being judged.
Yes. You can register as a couple with a shared profile, or create linked profiles and run them separately depending on what works for you. Single members can clearly indicate they're seeking couples, and couples can do the same when seeking singles. Profile fields and search filters support both.
Consent and honesty. ENM is consensual non-monogamy — all parties involved know about and have agreed to the arrangement. An affair, by definition, is non-consensual: the primary partner hasn't agreed. IE serves both audiences across different parts of the platform, but ENM members can be clear in their profile about their setup — and other members will respect it.
Yes, regularly. A lot of our ENM members were curious-and-new at some point themselves. Be upfront in your profile that you're exploring, be specific about what you're learning, and you'll get more thoughtful conversations than performative ones. There are also UK community resources we'd point you to — ENM is a steady learning curve and we're a place to start, not a place to fake having all the answers.
You don't have to use your real name. You don't have to upload a face photo. Your profile isn't indexed by Google. We don't sync with social media. Private photos sit behind a password you give out one connection at a time. Your bank statement (if you upgrade) shows a discreet billing descriptor — never "Illicit Encounters". The platform is members-only, and members can't share profile links externally. More on our Personal Details Guarantee →
Every new profile is manually approved by a UK moderator before it goes live. We routinely remove fake profiles, bots, and people who don't match what they say they are. We've been doing UK adult dating moderation since 2004 — it's one of the things we do best.
Registration and browsing are free. You can set up your profile, browse the community, see what's here, and decide whether you want to upgrade. Full messaging is a paid feature and we'll never charge you anything without your active choice to upgrade. There's a 7-day free taste of full features so you can get a sense of the community before committing.
No, by design. The full IE experience works through your phone's browser, which means there's no app icon for anyone else to spot. For ENM members in particular, this matters — many of you have specific reasons for wanting your dating life to not appear in plain sight.
Free to register. Verified members. Private by design.
Join Free →Warning: open relationships and ethical non-monogamy aren't the right fit for everyone. They require honest communication, clear agreements, and ongoing care with the people involved. If you're unsure, talk to your partner(s) and consider taking your time before committing to anything.