Comments (118)

Cheryl Kim - 09 Mar, 2025 - 10:37AM

We marry the person who we think ticked all our boxes.

And then we realise that life isn’t just a tick box exercise and that addendums need to be made to meet evolving needs.

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tmn2024 - 09 Mar, 2025 - 10:16AM

Ideal world: chefs are Italian, lovers are French, engineers are German, footballers are Brazilian and spys are Russian.

Real world: chefs are German, footballers are Russian, engineers are Italian, lovers are Brazilian and spys are French.

Lesson? We don't live in an ideal world, and our partners never check every ideals box either.

Solution? Have an affair. Maybe there's one unchecked box that you can put a gread big tick in.

Tick. I said tick. lol

Cheryl Kim - 09 Mar, 2025 - 10:08AM

Communication, laughter, genuine friendship and a similar level of fondness for each other. Mutual acceptance of personal foibles.

Just like any normal lasting relationship, only with the additions that most of us have come here for.

London3434 - 09 Mar, 2025 - 09:18AM

Paula99 makes a valid point but I think IE relationships are necessarily different because the partner cannot be included in my social circle (nor me in hers), which is a bit limiting.

Mutual attraction, some level of emotional connection, shared interests (esp professional) can help offset

Paula99 - 07 Mar, 2025 - 12:39PM

IE relationships are no different to a ‘normal’ ones…it all depends on how much effort you put in …how much commitment … communication you are willing to do and how much of a double life can you handle …

Stress management is essential and not easy for some workaholics….

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justtheguynextdoor - 06 Mar, 2025 - 10:00PM

I think the key to any good long term relationship is clear open communication - I guess an IE is no different!

Queenbolt666 - 06 Mar, 2025 - 03:32PM

Didn't meet my last affair partner on here but the affair lasted 7 years.
There was a clear line and it was bedroom only, so the lines don't become blurred which I thinks important when the affair goes on for so long.

We built a really good friendship, there was an attraction on both parts, and also the strongest sexual connection i have ever had (we met randomly) so think its so important you want to rip your IE clothes off.

I respected his home life and he respected mine e.g. no contact when we are at home. He has kids and I very much respect that his family and time with his kids come first. Also, neither of us have told a soul which I think is so important if you want to keep your marriages.

Both of us were always willing to compromise, adjust plans and there was a mutual effort on both parts
No drama, no feelings, just two friends who both want the same outcome.

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Man_Alive_2025 - 06 Mar, 2025 - 02:22PM

If you both want it to last it will! Acknowledge that the affair exists as a parallel relationship and give yourselves permission to accept any feelings you have for each other with the understanding that it’s all happening in a bubble that doesn’t have any impact on the setup at home. Nurture it at the start by developing good and honest communication, try to get a message to each other everyday and use the space inbetween meets to build anticipation

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marklondonengland - 06 Mar, 2025 - 12:40PM

I first met an IE from this site 18 years ago. She is still in touch with me today. Life changes and maybe sometimes you stay 'just friends' because relationships have changed, but if you target friednship first then it is possible to stay connected - do you actually like each other? Plus who knows, if you are still in touch and feeling naughty then everything else can still happen occasionally!

Ms Cashmere - 06 Mar, 2025 - 12:26PM

Beyond the obvious such as respect, attraction and compatibility, the ability and presence of mind to compartmentalise is a must.

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