What do we really disclose?
Meeting a new person is always exciting. However most of us are meeting illicitly. What are your boundaries when disclosing personal details? Do we reveal our full names, places of work, give details about our family? What type of information are you willing to share? How much is too much?
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Comments (114)
SirrahNek - 13 Aug, 2025 - 10:31AM
What LadyDe said. I started referring to “Eldest”, “Youngest”, “My Wife” and being guarded about what I said or revealed - respect for my significant second as much as anything else. And she did the same.
But in post coital haze, we became less guarded. Which was awkward at first. And now feels natural.
We want to protect our affair. But we also want to protect each others “established” lives.
LadyDe - 13 Aug, 2025 - 12:06AM
I think it takes time .. but equally if either of us don’t ask then why give out anymore information than you need to … my line of work means I have heard everything and shared nothing … but equally if you’re surely embarking on a long term affair then over time a lot spills out.. i actually prefer to use my kids and husbands name when chatting after a few meets, it just makes that easy rather than ‘oldest child said’ …’husband did’ … etc etc
1798172 - 12 Aug, 2025 - 02:37PM
This is a real interesting subject, I think discretion is key and trust. There are so many scammers out there and just plain bored people who are quick to use your personal information against you. I think a nice slow approach to getting to know someone first is key..once that trust is built then anything goes...does anyone have a view on this?
Sophi1616 - 09 Aug, 2025 - 02:12PM
I’ve got a d**k pic catalogue that could rival Argos at Christmas!!!
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laugar164 - 09 Aug, 2025 - 09:23AM
Paula I forgot to say I bring the essential camera for bird watching only 😂
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laugar164 - 09 Aug, 2025 - 09:21AM
Paula 99 running to the hills shall I bring a tent or a hammock 😉
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Paula99 - 29 May, 2025 - 05:38AM
Picture hunters are a scourge of online dating …there are people that constantly take pictures of themselves and expect others to reciprocate…..unfortunately they have arose from a generation that thinks it’s ok to take images/record others and pass it over the internet..
This makes me run for the hills because I have my boundaries …utilised them for my personal needs and not because ‘everyone is doing it ‘ …
Pakman100..
Great post ….moderation is the key
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Pakman100 - 28 May, 2025 - 02:52PM
I’ve had long, meaningful affairs without ever sharing my last name or where I work. It’s proof that trust and intimacy don’t require full disclosure — just honesty, consistency, and respect.
Having been stalked in the past, I’m especially careful now. I don’t share personal identifiers early on, and often not at all. Discretion isn’t just about protecting myself — it’s about respecting both lives involved.
That said, I still value depth. You can have strong emotional and physical connection without compromising safety. If someone needs full access to your real-world identity to feel close, they’re probably not the right fit for this space.
Boundaries don’t kill chemistry. In my experience, they protect it.
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DramaFree&Easy - 17 May, 2025 - 06:02PM
Cheryl Kim
My initial thought was that guy was broadcasting also. He most likely has a high opinion of himself and enjoys taking selfies all the time. Personally I couldn’t think of any faster way of getting blocked! Some mornings I just don’t look myself until the second coffee has kicked in at around 11am.
Catfishing is the weirdest online dating faux pas though. If that ever happens to me again, I’m going to save the embarrassment and just reverse catfish and pretend to be someone else and get out of there pronto.
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