How much is too much?
Does anyone else find it drags you down when you are chatting to someone, it's going well, and then they commence to dump their emotional baggage onto you? Complaining about their life choices, their wife/husband, their problems at home, why their partner isn't giving them sex, their kids, their relatives? Particularly when you've not even met? Turn off?
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Comments (121)
Paula99 - 03 Jul, 2025 - 02:02PM
Free therapy is what I have been doing for most of my life …the middle person…I do it at work so I sure don’t want to do IE free therapy..😑
Bikerdude69 - 02 Jul, 2025 - 04:44PM
Just say thanks but no thanks we all love a rant and share a few stories but we're not psychiatrists
secret meets? - 02 Jul, 2025 - 12:05PM
Yeah, I agree. We're all guilty of talking about our personal life and the things that trouble is the day today, because that's what we've just dealt with or are dealing with, depending on your mood sexual wise, you probably need to be clear and direct In the conversation and just say, look, I'm feeling Horny Don't really wanna go to deep into personal situations.
1659711 - 08 Jun, 2025 - 06:28PM
Doesn’t bother me, I’d actively encourage her to open up and be herself with me. After all that’s why she’s here. So I’ve no issues with being emotionally supportive.
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marklondonengland - 06 Jun, 2025 - 02:09PM
I agree with @Cheryl Kim on the discussion about gyms and exercise. What is wrong in looking after yourself? There are many people here who excuse their lack of fitness by suggesting it is normal at their age... is that really so? Is it really so hard to get up off your backside and out for a walk or a run?
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Paula99 - 06 Jun, 2025 - 05:30AM
Some people just can’t ’turn it off ‘😨..
As Boav91 has discovered…depression isn’t something you can shut down … it’s a serious issue and those people should be channelled to another outlet …it’s easy for me to say that as it’s part of my job…
Some just like a good old chat and that is fine but if the OP isn’t looking for that then you have to stipulate…no need to be rude… it’s good to promote positivity
For those in their ‘right mindset’ it may be difficult to process what you are hearing from the OP …especially if you have not been ill…don’t forget this is a cross section of the population….strange/quirky they are here to stay ..
The flip side of this is you may find an IE that won’t/ can’t talk about their lives…some are ‘deeper ‘ in their mindset or they are just private people….😊
Be careful what you wish for ….
boav91 - 05 Jun, 2025 - 11:43PM
The first time on here I was chatting to someone who was only telling me how depressed they were in their real life. I really did not feel that was right and a bit odd to tell that sort of thing to people they had never met. Now however ,with my IE, as it developed, you want to know more about them. When you are with someone longer you cannot just talk sex. Things happen in life and in any form of intimacy you will talk. As people have said it comes down to the connection and the length and depth of the relationship . At the very beginning it should be an escape.
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Paula99 - 01 Jun, 2025 - 09:38AM
In the grand scheme of things….if you form an emotional bond with your IE then baggage is a part of it …it makes you who you are …these things occur during the long term aspect not in the first couple of dates as free therapy isn’t what we are expecting to find in the ‘honeymoon’ period ..
In my experience less is more ….having an I E is about discovering each other and each time you see your IE you find out something more …I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve and I am a private person so I expect my IE to have the similar characteristics…
I am not a fan of guys that complain about the family grind /work….I do find that some need to off load as they are stressed out ….in that case you need a real lifestyle change and getting an IE isn’t the answer….take responsibility and get your arse into gear ….
In time if you do find your escape in IE then sharing your family fun/ sad story’s makes your relationship stronger and your boundaries fixed…😊
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Stucknotdesperate - 29 May, 2025 - 11:20PM
Yes turn off, I have my own baggage, that's what I'm on here to get the space from, not sure I want to have to deal with someone else's instead .....
Having said that, if the connection is formed from a deeper conversation and the emotional dump is a natural follow on, then maybe it's more about the signals being sent out that it was ok to do that?
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