Comments (51)

Mr Bird - 02 May, 2025 - 03:57PM

@SirrahNek. I’d agree with you, I’ve had some good conversations arise out of interactions on the forum. The possibility of an actual meet/affair is slim thought.

Posts here don’t have locations, or even genders. This is ok if you’re just looking for chat (like me), but not really if you want more.

SirrahNek - 02 May, 2025 - 02:44PM

There is another way… Actually, I think it might be the only real path to a great connection. Don’t look at the profiles. Don’t go searching. Engage on the forums. Be interesting, be honest, be yourself. Do that and you’ll find that prospective partners will click on you, and you may make a connection.

After all, on the forums your prospective partner can see how you engage with other people. Are you serious? Are you funny? Are you obsessed with yourself? Do you like writing excessively long Russian novels? You can see more about people here than in any profile. It’s a much better gauge of character, it’s a much better way of seeing who you might fancy.

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Man_Alive_2025 - 02 May, 2025 - 02:33PM

We all have preferences but for the sake of an inch or two (talking height here, obvs) it’s best to keep them just as preferences rather than boundaries just to maximise the possibility of meeting someone who will otherwise be a great match. The height thing in my opinion should be the least of anyone’s worries. It’s what tippy toes, heel lifts and crouching were invented for…

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Peaches1 - 02 May, 2025 - 02:24PM

I would say I'm more judgemental on someone's reasons for being here, personality and availability other than height or build. I actually prefer Dad bods over athletic!

I am guilty tho as I also do tend to judge by people's photos. I found that meeting people I thought looked OK appearance wise was a waste of time as 90% of these meet ups, the physical attraction was not strong enough.

I am not going to take risks for just anyone so it needs to be right on many levels.

Mr Bird - 02 May, 2025 - 01:53PM

The fact is that there’s an awful lot of men out there, so women are able to wait for exactly what they want, whether that be physical attributes, location, situation or personality.

Stating these requirements can be intimidating to men, especially when some profiles read more like a job description than anything else.

Having a fairly clear set of ideals can also help to limit the amount of messages women get (or provide a clear reason for no replies forthcoming).

Unfortunately the downside to being clear about what you want can be a profile that seems dry, emotionless and not a true reflection of the persons personality.

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tmn2024 - 02 May, 2025 - 01:32PM

In truth, I have no absolute rigid rules. I will specify what my preference is, but at the end of the day, my head may be turned by someone in a way I hadn't anticipated and my "preferences" then become meaningless.

The freely without judgement part? My experience of IE is that judgement abounds so I don't think you're going to be allowed a free ride without judgement. Again however, the decision whether or not to judge is not in the hands of the person doing the writing, it's in the hands of the person doing the reading. And on application of the principal that I can only control what I say and do myself, why would I care who judges me? Because that judgement is something for them to carry around in their head, not mine.

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MutualFun99 - 02 May, 2025 - 12:56PM

Everyone will have their own preferences. However, rather than set these as rigid ‘must haves’, I try to stay open to possibilities. Otherwise you may miss someone who would be a really great IE partner, just because they don’t tick all your boxes.

Purple dreamer - 02 May, 2025 - 12:46PM

Everyone can have preferences , but should be polite when coming across people who do not meet these preferences

 2 members like this comment.

MojoAJ - 02 May, 2025 - 12:27PM

Everyone has there preferences some are just very blunt with the way they state it which can be rude. I think if you take the time and effort and word it correctly then personal preferences are much more acceptable. My only concern is that some women have this high demands and expectations for there ideal partner that when I read it I just laugh because I think it's so out of touch with reality. They think this is temptation island where everyone is 10/10, sorry to burst your bubble but this is not a dating site to find your perfect match it's to find someone who will offer you what you lack at home. As long as they decent looking and respectful and can hold a conversation what more do you want.

James with the bluest eyes - 02 May, 2025 - 10:41AM

I agree, tea with or without milk.
Stating what you like and are looking for is important as you are writing about you and what floats your boat.
Like everything in life it should be done and respected in the right way.
Enjoy your time and your freedom x