Comments (67)

SirrahNek - 07 Mar, 2025 - 01:43PM

@GoldieSmudge - that really is living the dream and doing it right. Make friends, and then you have someone who really understands and can be talked to about these (hopefully always fun) dilemmas. If you're lucky then that friendship comes with benefits, and if you're really, really lucky (as you seem to have been) then you make a new friendship that lasts.

DJDJ08 - 07 Mar, 2025 - 09:44AM

I don’t think I would tell anyone and I think keeping it to yourself makes it even more exciting !

 1 member likes this comment.

GoldieSmudge - 07 Mar, 2025 - 08:51AM

I’ve got a wingman (actually a wingwoman).
I met her on here many years ago and while I wasn’t her type, we hit it off as friends.

We are there for each other to cover up problems in an emergency and we discuss prospective affair partners and advise on things like the sanity or motives of various people or the likelihood of a scam.

I’ve pulled her out of a pickle (car broken down) that could have had her darling hubby getting interested in why she was miles away from the friends she said she was having coffee with and she has educated me on tips like not taking a look at a LinkedIn profile if one is offered to you as they can then find your profile which could be a security risk.

SirrahNek - 06 Mar, 2025 - 08:43PM

I love my best mate dearly, he's like a brother. I've known him for the thick end of fifty years - but would I tell him? No. It wouldn't be fair on him. It's too much of a secret - too much stress. He might let slip to his wife and then all hell would break loose. For my part, if I knew he was up to something (he totally is, I know it, and good on him, but right now I've got plausible deniability) then that would really stress me out. So I don't ask, and he doesn't need to tell. For his part, he knows when something is going on - but he needs that deniability too.

1742166 - 05 Mar, 2025 - 07:35AM

No it's not something I believe I could trust another person with enough

Paula99 - 01 Mar, 2025 - 09:03AM

Added Extra…

You need to make some IE friends ….then you will have the support that you need from people in the same position as you ….make a chat page of your own and discuss your thoughts …

AddedExtra - 28 Feb, 2025 - 11:35PM

I haven't ever told a soul. Neither of us did. Much safer and easier and fun that way! However, having just come out of a 5 year affair it's hard when you have no one to share the downs with.

 1 member likes this comment.

Unwoke! - 24 Feb, 2025 - 11:12AM

Absolutely not! Every share is a potential leak.

PoundCakeRecipe - 23 Feb, 2025 - 05:58PM

Women tend to share more than men from my experience and this seems to be inline with the concensus from various articles online. Personally, i would say i am more private than most and would never share my secrets.

I would suspect most men tend not to want to put themselves in a vulnerable position and simply dont trust their friends to keep their mouths shut especially during drunken banter. Men are naturally competitive, so holding secrets like this is not much of a burden and doesnt seem to phase most.

This may not be a true reflection of all women, but I feel some have the need to confide often because they are conflicted, whilst i would never recommend it, i respect if your friendship is strong it might be fine. Unfortunately, in some cases women seek being at the centre of drama which is more a lack of emotional maturity (they really shouldn't be in an affair in the first place).

Overall, I think most will agree that if you are risk adverse you will not share.

 2 members like this comment.

Sagapo868 - 21 Feb, 2025 - 04:15PM

Im cumbrian and struggling find any chat mates close so deffinatly keeping everything secret