Comments (147)

1386735 - 23 May, 2020 - 03:57PM

Zyphod most men are interested in an elaborate wank

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Songbird478 - 23 May, 2020 - 03:47PM

tea_coffee_me_ - 23 May, 2020 - 02:59PM

Some great insight there thank you. Much appreciated as it’s an issue I grapple with in my head!

1100888 - 23 May, 2020 - 03:35PM

It depends if to your IE is only for sexual gratification as Ben Elton once put it. An elaborate wank.
Or are you in it for a relationship.

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Dancing In The Rain - 23 May, 2020 - 03:27PM

Always been honest with my IE, and never "cheated" on her either because, for me, having an emotional and physical relationship with one person is all I want.. sadly it's not with my wife.

Would I mind if she did? I think as long as I was her focus for the time we're together I'm ok. Who am I to clip the wings of a phoenix . But stay safe always.

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1386447 - 23 May, 2020 - 03:09PM

Well, my IE suggested we ask a third to join us. So are we being monogamous to each other, or more unfaithful........we will both be there so hardly a secret :)

pkash78 - 23 May, 2020 - 03:03PM

it can’t be as clear as black and white..

It certainly a mixture of both.

You may have a marriage but you want something on the side that completes the void .. then if that IE is not enough .. or not giving you what you want.. or you discover that you are still not fully satisfied or not capturing you fully, then may you can find someone else.

It is all about honesty though.. you have to be open and say and communicate .. and it may be no just sex you are talking about .. it may one need a friend.. a true listener .. or someone to share an experience with . a hobby..

A good old friend.. it doesn’t have to come with benefits.. it will be good if it did.. but from experience an all rounded human with all qualities fitted is a rare breed .. and if they are abundant.. we wouldn’t all be here trying to find the extra bit that is missing..

tea_coffee_me_ - 23 May, 2020 - 02:59PM

"Songbird478 - When does an IE become your IE? When you’ve chatted for X amount of days? When you’ve met? When you’ve had sex?"

That is a really good question.
Chatting - no
Meeting - no, for me the % that go on to a 2nd meetinf is VERY LOW
1st Private meeting - I would say no, as often one or both parties feel they are not compatible.
Possibly when you reach about 5 private meetings can you have that type of conversation as until that point you have no idea about adult compatibility, how often you can really see each other. If the structure of the meetings are working for you both...

As for the other comments about being safe, protection should ALWAYS be used, as yes a lot of the older age groups are catching more things as it is a different way of life to the younger days!
ALSO IF you are able to have access to regular testing, DO SO!
The NHS etc has made it more and more difficult, however for your own piece of mind and for any innocent party, if you can find a way - do it!!

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splendored - 23 May, 2020 - 02:39PM

I don't have sex with my wife and haven't had sex with her for several years, which is why I am here on IE.
I wouldn't try to have a relationship with more than one IE because it would over complicate my already over complicated life. I value my sanity too much. Having one IE is risky enough having more than one at the same time would in my view be reckless.
I would always ask my IE from the start if, like me, they are happy to be "monogamous".
Not that really matters but is it possible to be monogamous with someone else whilst still married?

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Teresa di Vicenzo - 23 May, 2020 - 02:32PM

I have sex with my husband. Rarely. I think we’ve ‘done it’ about 3 times this year!
I expect to be my IE’s one and only. He’ll probably have sex with his wife, and that’s ok. But I don’t want an IE who has women all over the place. I think that’s irresponsible and ultimately risky regarding diseases etc (apparently rife among people of a certain age group - my age group 🙄)
Each to their own, everyone has their own ideals. However, if I discovered an IE was seeing others, then I’d end it. Simples. Others may be happy to share but it’s not for me.

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ClassyLady77 - 23 May, 2020 - 02:08PM

I’m loyal to my IE, if they’re loyal to me..

Yes I do have sex with hubby.. I seem to be in the minority... 😂

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